Book of the Month: 'I Am the Secret Footballer: Lifting the Lid on the Beautiful Game'

 

As Paul Johnson, deputy editor of the Guardian News and Media explains in the introduction to this book, ‘since he wrote his first column for the Guardian 18 months ago, there has been a sustained effort to unmask the Secret Footballer.’ It is the mystery that surrounds this unidentified footballer that initially makes this book such an appealing read.

The ‘Secret Footballer’ begins by setting out the purpose of the book, namely to provide an insight into ‘how exactly football really works, away from the prying eyes of the outside world.’

The player alludes to the perks of the job, which are fairly self-explanatory and become more ‘obscene the higher a player goes.’ That a Premiership footballer leads a life of excess and luxury is not exactly a revelation and so what is interesting is the fact that the player also refers to the problems and predicaments that the job poses. Indeed, he suggests that the disadvantages even outweigh the riches and fame that the profession brings. As the anonymous player reveals, ‘playing Premier League football is a dream come true, but away from the pitch I would happily swap almost everything.’

As well as this interesting excerpt, the player also discusses the frequency at which gambling occurs within the game. He says how “players who are international team-mates and friends of players at other clubs are forever ringing each other to ask: ‘How are you boys looking for tomorrow? Are you worth a punt?” While the player admits that the PFA has ‘done a lot of great work to help players who have fallen into the pitfalls of gambling and addiction’ to prevent the troubles that affected players such as Paul Merson in the 90s, it is still alarming to learn of the extent at which it takes place.

Even more disturbing is the passage where the player describes his battle with depression. While his depression does not reach the extremities and suffering of sportsmen like Marcus Trescothick and Robert Enke, it provides another example of how the illness can effect successful, idolised and rich personalities. The player says how ‘it can make the sufferer appear as if he is arrogant, rude, lazy and introverted, and that is on a good day.’

Moreover, the player admits that in the past year he has drunk ‘very heavily’ and eat ‘excessively in a pathetic attempt to develop a gut’ to avoid selection. It is only through the aid of heavy medication and anti-depressant drugs that the secret player has been able to overcome his demons.

A further intriguing area that the player refers to is the complex relationship that exists between supporters and professionals. The player suggests that the relationship is often strained and fractious due to the jealously of the fans ‘for the money [the players earn], the girls they attract and the lifestyle that some of them have.’ Furthermore, the fans regularly feel that the club ‘belongs to the community’ and so that if a player is performing below-par ‘the fans will feel it personally.’

This is a worthwhile and intriguing book, but one which leaves the reader yearning for more. In the introduction, the player says that ‘many of these stories I shouldn’t be telling you about. But I will.’ However, the anonymous nature of characters in the book ultimately means that any drama and bust-ups in the player’s career are left shrouded in mystery. In this way, it fails to reach the heights of other harder-hitting footballing autobiographies.